You keep telling yourself, I’ll buy new clothes when I’ve lost the weight.
When you’re smaller. When you feel prettier. When it’s finally “worth it.”

And girl? I totally get it! It’s saving money, right? It’s a matter of discipline. If you go buy things you love and invest in stuff like that that fits this body that you’re hopefully changing soon? Not worth it.

You think you’re saving money. You think you’re being smart.
But I want to lovingly tell you why what you’re doing is actually hurting you. And this WILL be a gut punch:

What you’re really doing when you refuse to celebrate and adorn yourself until you’ve reached a goal?

You’re telling yourself: I’m not good enough yet.

And that’s the very thing keeping you stuck!

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Stop Waiting to Feel Beautiful

I know this because I’ve said it. Almost every woman I work (and haven’t worked with yet!) with has said it.

And it sounds reasonable, right? Why spend the money if you won’t be in that size for long?

But here’s the truth bomb I’ve learned, both from living it and from working with so many women:

That thought isn’t REALLY about saving money. It’s about fear. It’s about shame. It’s about unintentionally telling yourself you’re not worth it until you’ve changed.

And the crazy part? That very belief might be the thing that’s keeping you from getting where you want to go in the first place.

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My Story (Because I’ve Been There)

Let me recap the shortest version ever of my story:

Skinny, gorgeous, and known for it all growing up. Got married at 19 to a man I shouldn’t have married, and fell into depression and quick gained 35 pounds. Spent my whole 20s overweight, uncomfortable, and embarrassed. Having 2 babies and the hamburger stomach, stretch marks, and saggy boobs didn’t help.

Age 29? I fell in love with someone else (now my husband, Pat). I was starting to slim down naturally the more I worked on my emotional happiness, but when I fell in love with him, it activated something in me.

He thought I was DROP-DEAD-GORGEOUS. Just the way I was. (Cuz, ya know, my soul and all 😀.)

I started dressing to fit the body I was in right then. I felt beautiful. I loved what I was wearing. And here’s what happened: my body caught up to me.

The weight just dropped, fast, without me really even trying. Yes, some of it was stress-related (life happens), but a lot of it came from the fact that I felt so good on the inside that my body started to reflect it on the outside. My spirit was in a Maren-is-hot place, and my body aligned with that.

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Why We “Wait”

That stubborn refusal to buy clothes that fit now? That “I’m going to hold off until I’ve lost the weight” energy? I know it well, and I used to really pride myself on my grit and tenacity. I still love that stubbornness in women. It’s fire.

But? Mic drop moment here! It’s not coming from a loving, aligned place. And when I say “aligned,” I mean a deep, godly kind of love. Not about worthiness in a religious sense, but the kind of unconditional love that knows exactly who you are and thinks you’re perfect no matter what.

Underneath that “I’ll wait” is fear. Lots of fear, and lots of shame. It’s the pain of remembering a time when you felt smaller, prettier, and more in control. Underneath that “I’ll wait” is the grief of feeling like you’ve lost that better version of yourself.

I know it and I feel it when women talk to me about how they used to feel better versus how they feel now, and their eyes tear up and their voice gets choky and the pain is so palpable I might as well be able to see it as a grim reaper perched on their shoulder whispering in their ear, “Your pretty version is going to die forever!”

The grief of it is real and hello, hurts like hell.

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The Backwards Illusion

So to counteract this, we are sure that once we have the “goal” body, or the toned arms, or the smaller jeans, then we’ll feel beautiful, and it’ll be worth investing in clothing, hobbies, or things we feel we have to justify.

But we’ve got it backwards. What we truly want is not actually the body (or the money, or the job, or the man, or the house, etc…). It’s the FEELING that having those things gives us.

It’s feeling confident, beautiful, free, sexy, joyful, proud, and all those juicy things we feel when we’re really on fire and know our worth.

So, here’s the problem with waiting to feel all those things “until” we achieve something else.

It will have the exact opposite results.

That very resistance, the “I’ll wait until…” mindset, is actually blocking the thing you say you want.

We’ve been sold this illusion that the outside changes first and then we’ll feel good. That when we hit the number on the scale, then we’ll be satisfied, confident, easy, free, joyful, and empowered. But if we don’t start cultivating those feelings now, they won’t magically appear with the smaller size!

Here’s what really happens:
We push ourselves hard. We restrict, punish, discipline, grind. And yes, sometimes (and perhaps even often if you’re disciplined enough) we get the outward results. BUT, the inside hasn’t caught up. We’re still struggling with the same thoughts, the same self-criticism, the same restless feeling that it’s not enough. It might be less, it might be hidden by other things that we find we’re dissatisfied in, but it’s still there.

And when the inner work isn’t there, the results often don’t stick. It’s harder to maintain. Other parts of our lives start slipping because (and this is one of my core beliefs) how you do one thing is how you do everything! If you’re building your body on self-punishment, that energy will spill into other areas too.

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You Don’t Have to Choose

Now here is the good news. And it should relieve this giant frustration you probably have at this point with me. Because if you’re reading this and feeling defensive or resistant, or like you just want to argue with me about it, it’s because you have a limiting (and untrue!) belief still at large in you.

For those of you who want so badly this other thing, especially this healthy, skinny body, it’s like if you just let yourself do (and spend money on!) the things that will help you feel good now, you’re giving up.

You’re resigning from your dream life.

You’re settling.

You’re just “accepting” this sad, broken, “ugly” and “fat” version of you.

It feels like the ultimate defeat. And it’s painful.

And I’m here to tell you, 100 percent, so emphatically, that that is NOT TRUE.

It’s just not.

Acceptance and love of your current self and body is NOT giving up on your goals, dreams, and desires. It doesn’t even mean that you can’t recognize that not having those things feels painful as well.

What it IS?

It’s realizing you DON’T HAVE TO CHOOSE between loving yourself now, celebrating it, and going after the body and health you want.

You CAN (and in fact SHOULD if you want faster results):

• buy clothes that fit you now and feel better
• spend money on nice things simply because you LOVE how they feel on your skin
• buy the shirt from that boutique in a size that you’re planning in being too big for you in a month instead of wearing the oversized pilled t-shirt from Walmart again

And when you hold both at the same time (love + action), the results come faster and with more ease, and even more powerfully! Because when you feel good now, your actions toward your goals come from a place of love instead of desperation.

(Side note, this is Law of Attraction 101 and the principle that has changed my life drastically and has the biggest power to change yours. For more info on this, I highly suggest Sage Grayson’s “Law of Attraction For Skeptics” short and simple course. Really, do it. You won’t be sorry. In fact, you’ll just be inspired.)

It doesn’t mean that you just stop, decide you’ll be fat forever, and get over that lofty dream body goal.

No! Keep eating the nourishing foods. Keep moving your body in ways that feel good. Those things matter. But they’re not the only things. The emotional and energetic piece matters just as much. And the more you tend to both, the more powerful and lasting your results will be.

I believe this 100%, because I’ve lived it. And my clients are living proof too.

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My Challenge to You

I want you to feel the difference for yourself. So do this challenge, and then get back to me. Because I’m totally right. 😆

Ok, here’s the deal:

1. Home Day — Status Quo
Wear your husband’s basketball shorts and an oversized T-shirt. Or whatever thing you wear now that just feels “ok” or “blah.” Go about your day as you normally would. Pay attention to your mood, your energy, how you carry yourself. Note it.

2. Home Day — Celebrated
Buy (yes, buy) a lounge outfit that fits your body right now. No shapeless, baggy, hiding-in-the-background pieces. No ratty old pieces that you justify by saying, “I don’t need anything real nice – I’m so comfortable in just this!” Choose a color and fabric and store that you love. Even where you get it from affects how we feel in it! Spend the day in it. Notice how you feel. I guarantee your general confidence, energy, and mood will be brighter than your status quo home day.

3. Night Out — Status Quo
Go out wearing what you normally wear — even if it’s “good enough” but not your favorite. If you’re hoping to lose weight and you’re in perpetual husband’s gym shorts and t-shirts or leggings and oversized tee, do that. But then, go do something that a “sexy” woman would do. Dinner at a fun restaurant. Drinks at a pretty bar. Dancing at a club with friends. A concert (which these days is kind of like fun cosplay)! See how you feel that night. Note it.

4. Night Out — Celebrated
Pick something that fits today’s body and doesn’t hide it. I know you may not like your arms or your rolls or your stretched out tummy, but please don’t hide it in a giant baggy thing. You can adjust, even use shapewear if you want. Let it hug your curves, show your shape, or highlight a feature you DO love. Wear it out. Put some TLC into your appearance: ham up that fun spark you have making sure you like the way your hair and skin look, the way you smell.

In fact, do yourself up as if you’re about to have the hottest date of your life and are planning on getting naked later. (You are actually the hottest date you’ll ever have, and you should get naked with yourself from time to time ☺️). Then compare the difference in your energy, your confidence, and the way you connect with others. There WILL be a difference.

And I guarantee you’ll feel it.

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So How Do We Do It?

I promise you, the days you feel celebrated in your clothes, not just covered, not just accepted, but celebrated, those are the days you’ll move differently. Speak differently. Show up differently.

And the more you do that now, the faster everything else will fall into place. PLUS, you will have let yourself feel good all along, instead of holding out “until!” That’s a WIN-WIN people. (Still curious about how this really works? Really, go check out Sage Grayson’s course I mentioned up top – you won’t regret it!)

You are not “settling” for where you are.
You’re practicing the life you’re working toward!

And if you’re nodding along and like, “oh yeah! I get it and want this!” but you’re also wondering “but how do I do this?” Especially if you feel SO down about yourself now?

This is where I come in with my special Maren Mojo. This is the work I do with clients! This is my passion and why women stay in my orbit and either love me or are triggered as shit by me!

If you want to feel better NOW without giving up on your future desires, I’ve got you.

If you want to really get into your sensuality, love your body and the magic within it, and feel confident, beautiful, and sexy again? (Or maybe for the first time ever?) I’ve got you!

Book a free Style Audit with me, and we’ll look at where you’re at now, what’s keeping you there, and how to bring out your Inner Goddess so that you don’t cry anymore on the bathroom scale.

It’s you and me, babe. And it can start RIGHT NOW with a free Style Audit.

Don’t wait until “someday.”

Don’t wait until you’re “less busy” or “make more money” or “you lose the weight.”

You are worth loving NOW.

Book your FREE Style Audit –> HERE

And if the only thing you’re able to do after reading this is cry, that’s ok too. Cry it out, and don’t judge yourself for it. It’s ok. I’ve been there too. And when you’re ready to share the tears with me, I’ve also got you. In my world, there is no need to be “put together.” The only thing I ask for is authenticity. And once you do that, the real change can begin.