Did the title intrigue you? Trigger you? Stir something inside of you?
Well you might be disappointed, because you’re probably assuming some funny things about me based on it. But what I’m here to say today is nothing sexual or so outrageous, though it is powerful and potent.
You see, I’ve been on this lifelong quest (though I didn’t know it for many years) to be “seen.”
Not being seen has been my biggest source of pain—and the root of so many bad decisions, hurtful choices, and even physical discomfort.
And as women, most of us are not truly seen—even by, and perhaps especially by, other women.
Every time someone judges you? Dismisses you? Assumes something about you? Yeah, that’s not being seen.
I felt like that forever. Growing up in a high-demand religion and conservative, patriarchal culture, I was relegated to the sidelines and told exactly who I should be:
- I had to be beautiful, or men wouldn’t like me, I’d never get a husband, and I’d be a failure.
- But I couldn’t be too beautiful, or I’d be vain, shallow, and the dirtiest word of all: boy crazy.
- I wasn’t allowed to have sexual thoughts, desires, or even dress in a way that might be “desirable,” because that would make me unworthy of God’s approval.
- I wasn’t encouraged to take creative risks, because they weren’t “practical” and I’d probably fail.
Basically, I was told what I should appear to be, but never given space to discover who I actually was!
And though it’s taken me nearly 38 years, here’s the truth: at my core, I am a lover of my body and of beauty. And I am bursting with desire to show it!
From Not Being Seen to Self-Reclamation
If you’ve read my Sacred Lingerie Date Guide blog post, you know the story of my first marriage and how objectified and broken I felt throughout my 20s. I wanted to be more than a body, more than a pretty face.
But I also wanted to be seen for the fullness of me—for my intentionality, my magnetism, my creativity.
The problem was, I couldn’t even see myself.
I couldn’t see my inner goddess. And the glimpses I did get? I couldn’t accept her. I was terrified of her power, her desires, her voice.
Because the Real Maren? She’s a force! She’s STUNNING! And she knows it. She loves it! She calls out the bullshit, goes to the dark places to heal, refuses to be boxed in or silenced.
But for years, I resisted her.
Until life forced me to stop hiding.
- I fell in love with another man, and eventually left my first marriage.
- I got divorced (a scandal in my family and church).
- I left the religion that shaped my whole world, and lost friends, family support, and identity.
- I healed ancestral wounds, shame, and practiced self-compassion.
- I demanded release of codependency in my second marriage.
- I started putting myself first—and everything in my household shifted.
- I built a business that required me to step into courage over and over again.
And through it all, I discovered freedom.
The Goddess Shoot
I knew I was going to use this photo shoot as new branding photos—images that would capture who I am now.
So you’d think I would’ve spent hours planning: shopping, styling, mood boarding, the works. But in truth?
Candice was like, “I’ve got some dresses leftover from a shoot I can bring,” and I was like, “Cool, I’ll grab some stuff from my closet.” Five minutes before leaving, I rifled through my things, pulled out a few robes and dresses that spoke to me, and that was that. No overthinking. No drama. Just intuition.
Candice wanted to bring her husband along—both as an assistant and our drone-footage expert. I was cool with that.
Then I thought… should I bring Pat? (My husband)
He’s the person I’m most vulnerable with, but there are still moments when I hide from him. Especially with my work. I usually hate when he overhears me teaching or recording content. And though he’s always been the one pulling the camera out, gushing over my beauty, I used to shrink away from it.
But my inner voice told me to invite him. And I knew it would be good for both of us.
So off we drove to Saltair—an expansive, otherworldly salt flat, quiet and endless. The perfect altar.
I intuitively chose what to wear first, and Candice guided me on how the light wanted to meet me. Then I moved—posing, dancing, surrendering in front of her camera. Scott flew the drone, Pat took behind-the-scenes shots of his own.
Candice coached me to call on my inner Kali, the dark goddess of destruction and rebirth. I channeled her, thanked her, embodied her.
And here’s what struck me:
Where once I was judgy, modest, and so afraid people would only see my body—not my soul—I wasn’t afraid anymore.
Witnessed
Candice and I changed outfits freely, moving into various states of undress… in front of both our husbands.
To our old selves, this would’ve been gaspingly awkward. “Inappropriate.”
But there was nothing sexual about it.
It was reclamation.
Reclamation that my body is:
- Mine. Not a tool for men.
- Sacred. Free and comfortable, without being objectified.
And here’s the part I’ll never forget: both men stood in their divine masculine. They held space with humility, reverence, awe. They cried—CRIED—as they watched us reclaim our joy, our freedom, our goddess selves.
That day, I wasn’t just seen. I was witnessed.
The Shift
Did I look beautiful in those photos? Yes. The outfits, the light, the scenery—it was all breathtaking.
But the real magic was how I felt.
Alive. Potent. Powerful. Radiant.
And most of all—liberated.
In the same body I used to hate, criticize, repress, and think was broken.
Now? She is my most trusted ally. My portal to the divine. My masterpiece.
Kali’s Gift
Kali’s power is fierce, devastating, and oh-so-loving when you let her work through you.
Freedom comes at a high price—you have to release ego, withstand judgment, embrace your pain, and lay bare the parts of yourself you want to hide.
But if you’re willing?
You’ll find what I found that day on the Salt Flats:
Your body is not the problem. She is the path.
And liberation is the most priceless blessing of all.
If something in you whispered yes as you read this… if you’ve been aching to feel seen, to stop apologizing for your body, and to finally live in the freedom you know is possible—this is the work I’d be honored to walk with you through!
In my 1:1 coaching and inside Radiant AF, I help women shed the layers of shame, reconnect with their bodies, and reclaim the radiance that has always been theirs.
Because you are not too much—girl, you’re just not! You are not broken. You are waiting to be witnessed in all your power, beauty, and truth. I see that in you, and often all we need to see it in ourselves is to let ourselves be witnessed by others.
👉 Book your free Style Audit with me to see what’s possible for you.
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